Three weeks ago, I finally took the plunge into a life of less certainty and predictability, of more personal demands on me to secure my own income, of a greater need for creative problem-solving. Why did I feel so compelled to do this? And how have last three weeks been, you might ask? Here's a bit of a reflection.
For me, the idea of starting a business carries with it endless possibilities and the opportunity for limitless dreaming. From my perspective now, those perks are so huge they basically constitute a rocket launching pad of motivational drive. At the opportunity to bring that kind of hope into my life, I feel an enormous urge to run with it. However, things weren't always this way for me.
In the past, uncertainty, unpredictability and lack of security would tower over me as massive question marks blocking my way and preventing me from moving forward with my own projects. For a bunch of reasons, I feared not knowing. I wanted to be sure we could pay our mortgage each month, put food on the table, and occasionally even go out and do something fun. Which are, to be fair, legit things to want. However, my method of securing these things adequately, through a normal job, was not working out so well with my family's schedule and needs. Being tied down to specific hours left my husband and me tired and stressed, which, let's be honest, in some way or other will rub off on the children, despite our best efforts to shield them. So we were tired, stressed, my creative drive was severely undernourished, and at the same time I kept having dreams not only of translating on my own, but of all the things I could add to it.
So how did I get to where I was ready to do it? A complicated process, no doubt. Also one that involved soul searching, prayer, listening, confronting fears, thinking pragmatically, and basically watching those looming question marks deflate into puddles of defeat. Because I actually know that I can do my job. And I will. And for three weeks now, I have.
These three weeks have incidentally been filled to the brim with sunshine and balmy heat, making it difficult for the kids to sleep at night, so plenty of iced coffee has been consumed to get me to where I am today. :) I am beyond grateful for what has happened, and so excited for what's ahead on the journey.
More of that to come in a later blog post -- I have lots of ideas.